Monday, August 8, 2011

To Be a doctor or not to be a doctor or whatever they say.........

In Stiches was very, very funny and reminded me of the crazy med school stories told to me by my sister in law....Let's see the pizza delivery was directed to the cadaver room....or were there some other details left out?  But there is more to Anthony Yuen's book then funny really got me thinking about direction in life.  You know, how much do we direct our children in their lives?  Do we let them choose everything on their own, or do we direct them in only one direction and that is that?  Somewhere in the middle I bet is what works overall.  However you will find examples of success at the extreme ends too.  For instance Anthony became a doctor at the direction of his dad...but Anthony chose what kind of doctor he wanted to be.  I don't know what happened with his brother...that is another story....

I watch my brothers and sisters give guidance to their kids who are in college or about to enter college.  In all cases they provide a broad plan to follow, mostly, study what you enjoy, but also include something that will get you a job, oh yeah, don't forget to graduate too.  So far two have graduated in the prescribed times of their majors, one is working in her field, the other interning to discover what is next for her.  Two others are on schedule to graduate in spring of 2012...both of these are studying psychology, one has a certificate in medical billing codes as the way to earn money when she graduates, and then pay for graduate studies once she knows what that shall be.  The other is doubling in Fine Arts with an emphasis in photography, and psychology (doing research as an undergrad) oh and she is minoring in Chicano Studies, and is recently certified as a doula.  Ask her what she wants to be when she grows up and she says, "I am thinking about graduate school in nursing ... perhaps women's health or midwifery."  That was part of her thought process before starting college and is still there 3 years into her studies of everything else.  Bottom line, both of these gals will have a skill or two they can use to find a job when they graduate.  Oh they are both graduating on time, at least the first time around.

Now I think of the three freshman soon to be sophomores in college.  One was invited to check out sailing opportunities with the US Coast Guard.  Her parents had the wisdom to send her to a one week long camp two summers ago to check out the guard as an option.  She went, loved it, including the crazy fitness level, and well she has sailed on the Eagle across the Atlantic and has all kinds of stories to tell.  She is starting her second year at the Coast Guard Academy and will graduate in Marine Environmental Studies.  Another nephew is studying physics and is about to start his second year.  His dream is mechanical engineering (I think)...In both cases the parents are letting their kids determine their direction.  The third of this group is at a small liberal arts college, competing in synchro and working on her liberal arts degree...not sure yet where this will take her...but she has the support of her parents.  I think bottom line, that is what is needed most...our kids need the support of their parents. 

So that is what I learned or thought about after laughing out loud while reading Anthony's book In Stiches.  But mostly I learned, kids know when you love them, even if you do not say it every day.  Perhaps that is the most important key to life, loving our kids enough so they really get it, and feel secure enough to make it through growing up. 

In Stiches was supplied by the Left to write book club at no cost to me...Hmm I should also say everything I wrote belongs to me too....meaning no views are those of Left to Write....Until the next book...

Anthony Youn's memoir In Stitches gives readers a look into the training of a medical doctor who discovers his passion is plastic surgery. As a member of From Left to Write book club, I received a copy of this book for review. You can read other members postsinspired by In Stitches by Anthony Youn, M.D. on book club day, August 9 at From Left to Write


  1. I don't know how other parents seem to hold such power over their children's choices. My boys didn't seem to mind if I disapproved of their career choice! :-)

  2. My daughter is only 7 and I know I do not have that kind of power over her...we mostly negotiate, talk and negotiate some more...yes I can say NO...but not all the time. :)

  3. I think we all want our kids to be happy, but also find a way to support themselves and not live with us for the rest of their lives. Right now my almost 3 year old wants to be a cook. Can't imagine trying to crush that little spirit.

  4. You're right, I wonder what happened to his brother as well! I'm encouraging my daughter that she can be whatever she wants to be. Currently it's a scientist ballet dancer.

  5. Thank you for reading my book. I struggle with how I raise my own children. We should let them choose what they want to be and do, but what if they want to be a singer but can't carry a tune?
    Thanks again.
    Dr. Tony Youn

  6. What if our child loves to sing and wants to be a singer but can't carry a tune? Good question. Perhaps early on you provide them a little truth and steer them towards another love??? Like I said earlier we still need to provide a little guidance. Steer them towards their giftings...and sometimes we need to ipen our eyes a little wider to what our childs giftings might be.

  7. I love that your siblings give their children the opportunity to try different things out. We totally want the best for our kids, but sometimes we can hinder them when we let our fear of the unknown hold them back. It's awesome when we can loose the reins a bit, give them space...and support, to try something out and go after their dreams!

  8. My three year old wanted to be a doctor for the longest time (and I tried to hide my genetically encoded Jewish mother excitement)...but now she's considering the possibility of being a school bus driver! It's fun to watch her try on and conjure these possible futures through pretend play. I just hope whatever she winds up doing, it makes her happy.